For the past couple of months, I have been attending a Sangha. A Sangha is a community of Buddhist practitioners. We meet and meditate for a period of time and then a teacher shares a talk, what’s called a Dharma talk.

One of the topics that has come up frequently is Metta, often translated as loving kindness. Though this post is not intended to give a teaching on Metta as I am not qualified, I do want to share some things I’ve gathered from wise teachers and talk about how the teachings have affected me.

As noted by Sharon Shelton, Metta is not about being nice or ignoring harm where harm exists. Rather it is a non-hostile orientation of the heart. You begin by offering loving kindness to yourself. Then widen the circle to someone that you care about deeply. A friend, family member, partner, spouse, child, or anyone for whom it is easy to project loving kindness toward. Then you open the circle wider to acquaintances or people toward whom you might be indifferent. Then to people who are difficult. Finally, sending loving kindness to all beings. You don’t have to feel loving kindness or any warm emotion, rather it is a decision to send positive energy into the world regardless of any emotional state.

For me, it has been a way of trying to cope with things in the world that are unjust, painful, egregious, and that without stabilizing practice could bring me to despair or rage. I struggled with the concept of sending loving kindness to people I felt were acting in unjust and harmful ways. What was suggested to me is not to start out picking the people toward whom I hold strongest feelings of dislike or judgement. Don’t start out by picking the ten on the Richter scale. Pick someone who is more of a four or five. Also, if I can’t orient my heart to kindness to anyone I dislike, I can send loving kindness to myself for being human and exactly where I am.

I have appreciated the distinction of Metta as a non-violent orientation of the heart. Though sometimes I feel intense anger and in all honesty even hatred, I truly understand that putting more hostility and violence into the world will not bring peace. And I want to contribute to peace in the world when all is said and done. If I cannot contribute peace, I can at least decide to do no harm.

The other thing I have appreciated about the recent talks I’ve attended is that Metta is a way of grounding oneself and from that grounding taking skillful, ethical action. Metta is not about ignoring the harms in the world or sitting by and doing nothing about them. But it allows me to see clearly and to approach actions from a place of peace and steadiness rather than rage or anger or despair.

Finally, I have come to understand that meditation stills me and allows me to act more skillfully in my life and in my interactions with others. That in and of itself is “doing something” or “taking action.” I watched recently as a group of monks transformed communities by their peaceful and calm presence. Thousands gathered to witness them and to hear their message. I was fortunate enough to get to see them at one of their lunch stops while they were in North Carolina. Though there were several thousand people gathered, there was no pushing or shoving. No clamoring to be in the front of the crowd. Instead people were generous and helpful to others. Wanting to make space for as many as possible to hear and see the monks. I believe that was a product of the orientation of their hearts and how it manifested out. It inspired me to try to cultivate such qualities in myself. I am far from what I witnessed but I will continue to practice.

There are many places online from which to learn about Metta and other Buddhist practices. And remember that Buddhism is about practices, it is not a religion. I encourage you to seek out those places where you can read, listen, and learn. And if Buddhism is not for you, please seek wisdom from sources you trust. We need more peace, love, justice, and skillful action in the world that is right now. Those are the only things I believe will ultimately save us.